Divorce Mediation and Negotiated Settlement

Most Maryland divorces end in an agreement rather than a judge’s decision. Mediation is one of the main routes there, and in Baltimore County it is not optional in the way many people assume. The Circuit Court refers family cases to mediation where it considers the case appropriate, and custody and visitation disputes in particular are routinely referred.

Understanding what mediation is, and just as importantly what it is not, helps you use it well.

What mediation is

A trained neutral mediator helps you and your spouse try to reach agreement. The mediator does not decide anything, does not represent either of you, and does not give either of you legal advice. Sessions are confidential, which means the parties can explore options without those discussions being used against them later.

Mediation is not binding. Nothing is settled until it is written down and signed. If mediation does not work, the case continues.

How mediation works in Baltimore County

Referrals commonly happen at the scheduling conference, with the mediation session set for a date some weeks out. Baltimore County offers mediation through the court, and in contested custody cases parents are generally required to complete a six hour online co-parenting class beforehand. High conflict matters may be referred to a more intensive mediation process. The court also offers custody evaluations and other family services where they are needed.

See Baltimore County divorce and family law for local contact numbers.

What can be mediated

• Legal and physical custody and the parenting schedule
• Holidays, school breaks, travel and transportation
• Child support and how add-on expenses are shared
• Alimony, amount and duration
• Division of the family home, vehicles, accounts and personal property
• Retirement assets and how they will be divided
• Responsibility for debts
• Tax filing status and dependency claims

Some things are poorly suited to mediation, including cases with a history of coercion or abuse, or cases where one spouse does not believe the other’s financial disclosure. In the latter situation, discovery usually needs to come first, because you cannot negotiate over a picture you do not trust.

Preparing for mediation

Mediation goes badly when people arrive without information and well when they arrive with it.

• Know the numbers: income, the value of the house and the mortgage balance, account balances, retirement statements, and the debts.
• Know your budget, both what you spend now and what you would spend afterward.
• For custody, bring a proposed schedule rather than a position. The Maryland Parenting Plan Tool is a good structure.
• Separate what you need from what you want, and know in advance which points you will not trade.
• Understand the range of likely outcomes if a judge decided instead. That is what makes an offer easy to evaluate.

Independent legal advice still matters

This is the point most worth emphasizing. A mediator cannot tell you whether a proposed deal is good for you. Only your own attorney can do that.

Have a proposed agreement reviewed before you sign. Review looks at what the document actually says, whether anything important is missing, whether terms you assume are modifiable really are, and whether child related terms will hold up when a court reviews them. See separation and marital settlement agreements.

After agreement

Terms reached in mediation are written into a settlement agreement. A complete agreement can support a mutual consent divorce. A partial agreement narrows the case, and the remaining issues go forward. See contested divorce.

Related: custody and parenting plans, property division, alimony.

Talk with a Towson family law attorney

Every divorce and custody matter turns on its own facts. The Law Office of Thomas K. Mallon, LLC offers a free consultation so you can get straight answers about your situation before you decide what to do next.

Call (410) 847-9075 or request a consultation online. The office is at 1107 Kenilworth Drive, Suite 305, Towson, MD 21204.

This page provides general information about Maryland law. It is not legal advice, and reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Maryland law changes, and how it applies depends on the facts of your case.